Hi L-Yogi’s, Natalie here. As I stepped onto the mat today I heard in my mind, “why did you think that opening to love was going to be easy?” and as I kept practicing my postures, I kept hearing this over and over which compelled me to feel into this deeper.
A lot of us who practice yoga, are attracted into this as a way of healing, as we recognize that the way we’ve “been doing it” doesn’t work and we need to find one that does. Yoga is one of those tools. It’s deeply healing and as I like to say “makes you more of you.” But as you’re on this path, it isn’t always pretty.
What newbies to yoga might not recognize is that as your mind & body are being transformed, the yoga brings up your stuff, or more affectionately your “shit.” Where ever your struggle lies – food, money, relationships, self worth, etc… – you will be faced with looking at this at some point until you realize there’s no way getting around it, but only going through it.
As I was practicing today I was confronted with my own stuff pretty intensely. As we’re ending 2013 and heading into 2014, I’m personally thinking a lot about love and my willingness to open to it, which sounds beautiful and blissful doesn’t it? What I didn’t expect is that my willingness to be open has opened up all of my fears and is making me deal with them one by one. It’s very easy to get stuck in the illusion and think “Wow, I”m really off track here, I wanted to open to love, so why do I feel like this,” without realizing that this is you opening up to love. As you open, everything opens with it, the light and the dark, and that’s ok. Keep going.
If you feel yourself being gripped with fear, or any emotion for that matter, as you open yourself more to life and what you deeply desire, remember you are on the right track. This is a part of it. Be mindful of disassociating with these feelings just as much as over-identifying with them. Neither of them is the truth of you, but healing your perception of them is necessary. Just keep breathing, keep moving, and keep going. Act from a place of love and remember that you are. There is no hurry in love, only truth, and the truth will set you free from the illusions that bind you.
Remember that you are on the right path. You are love and you are loved.